Working with the Inner Critic
Working with the Inner Critic: From Paralysis to Permission
The inner critic - or saboteur - is that persistent voice that whispers "no," "you can’t," "what if you fail?" It judges, blocks, and suppresses. It often shows up just as you’re about to move forward or try something new. It can be loud and obvious - or incredibly subtle.
This voice isn’t just self-doubt. It’s often rooted in fear, shame, or old protective patterns from earlier life. And while it can feel like you, it’s not the whole truth of who you are.
In coaching, we work with this part of you not by fighting it - but by understanding it, creating distance from it, and turning up the volume on something wiser.
What the Inner Critic Steals
When you’re in alignment with yourself - with who you are and what you want to create - there’s often a tangible sense of resonance. A spark. A feeling of "yes" in the body.
You might notice:
- Energy and momentum building
- A lift in the voice or posture
- A sense of clarity and excitement about what’s possible
Then the inner critic lands like a wet blanket. The spark dims. The body tightens. Suddenly there’s hesitation where there was hope.
You might hear:
- "But who do you think you are?"
- "You should do it differently."
- "What if it doesn’t work?"
You may even stop moving altogether - paralysed not because you don’t care, but because something inside is trying to protect you from perceived risk, failure, or rejection.
Recognising the Voice as Separate
One of the most empowering shifts clients experience in coaching is learning to see the inner critic as just one part of them - not the whole.
These voices are often sneaky. They sound like reason. They sound like you. But they’re not your true self. They’re often echoes of old experiences, coping strategies developed long before you had the language or power to choose differently.
In coaching, we begin to:
- Notice the critic’s tone, timing, and impact
- Tune into the body’s felt sense when it shows up
- Name the critic - sometimes even literally, to create space between you and it
From this place, we can start to ask:
- What is this voice trying to protect me from?
- What does it believe will happen if I move forward?
- What would I say back to it, if I could?
This kind of inner dialogue brings clarity. It puts you back in relationship with your thoughts, rather than under their spell.
A Word on the Brain: Why the Inner Critic Feels So Strong
From a neuroscience perspective, the inner critic is not just a metaphor - it’s a well-worn neural pathway.
The brain is wired for efficiency. When a thought or belief is repeated often enough (especially under stress), the brain lays down strong connections to support it. These patterns become default settings - especially if they’ve been active since childhood. That’s why inner critical voices can feel automatic, even familiar.
But here’s the hopeful part: the brain is also plastic.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, those old pathways can be weakened, and new ones - rooted in self-trust, possibility, and choice - can be built. This doesn’t happen overnight. But with awareness and practice, even the most deeply ingrained inner narratives can begin to shift.
Coaching supports this rewiring process by creating space for new thoughts, new actions, and new identities to take root.
From Paralysis to Permission
Once you see the inner critic as a part - not the whole - you have more choice. You can start to orient toward wiser, more resonant parts of yourself.
In coaching, this is where momentum builds. We work together to make your next steps feel:
- More aligned than pressured
- More alive than fearful
- More true than perfect
Sometimes, this means bypassing the critic altogether. Sometimes it means sitting down with it and hearing what it needs. And sometimes, it means making your vision so compelling - so meaningful - that the voice simply gets quieter in the face of that clarity.
We ask:
- Do you want to keep listening to it?
- What would your life look like if this voice weren’t in charge?
- What future feels so inviting that it’s worth moving toward - even with the critic nearby?
Permission doesn’t always come from outside. Sometimes it arises the moment you remember you get to choose who you listen to.
The Power of Possibility
So what happens when the inner critic quiets - even a little?
Something in the system softens. Breathing deepens. Muscles unclench. A sense of openness begins to return - not just psychologically, but physiologically.
Clients often describe a sense of space: a horizon where there was once a wall. Energy begins to build again. There’s a shift in posture, a new charge in the voice, a sense of movement. The body reclaims forward momentum.
This is the power of possibility:
Not blind optimism, but a grounded sense that more is possible than the inner critic ever allowed.
And here’s the turning point: a different voice begins to emerge.
It’s quieter, but clearer. Steady. Grounded. Wise.
It doesn’t shout - it knows. And once this voice begins to speak, clients often realise it was there all along, simply drowned out by fear.
Coaching helps that voice rise. It helps you remember that you are not broken, or behind, or failing - you are simply becoming someone new. And you’re allowed to move in that direction.
Curious about how coaching could help you work with your inner critic - and reconnect with that inner knowing?
I have a small number of low-cost spaces available while I complete certification. If you’d like to explore, I’d love to hear from you.
